In the Loving Arms of God

I am so happy today. With an unintended nudge by my friend, FairyHedgeHog, I can listen to music again while I write. I had forgotten about my headphones (they begin to hurt my ears after a few hours), but when FH asked me if I had other ways to try and get the music to work I suddenly remembered them. I even knew where they were. Cool!

Through this blog I have met around twenty people who have been very kind to me. Two in particular have done so much I call them my friends. FairyHedgeHog, and Jennifer. They know when to write gently and they know when to write as though kicking my backside. That's what friends do. Jennifer is making sure I slap my irrational fear in the face and actually attend my first Writers' Group Meeting since Lori left Minnesota back in 1982. Unless the weather just turns to puke I'm going to make the next meeting. Thanks, Jennifer. FairyHedgeHog keeps pointing me toward places of myself I have kept imprisoned for a long time. Between the two of them (and others) I am happier than I have been in a long time. Kind of like Bill Murray at the end of Scrooged. These aren't tears of pain. They're tears of joy.

So what has this to do with being In the Loving Arms of God? Well, the older I get the more I come to realize (conclude) that God most often takes care of us through other people. This is certainly not to diminish the behavior of any individual. God does not make people do things. I believe that with all my heart and understanding. No. What God does is search the Earth looking for those who will act in accordance with his will. Then he arranges for them to come into our lives. That's what makes the compassion, anger, impatience, honesty and lovingkindness of friends so wonderful. No one is making them do what they do. It's just who they are.

The past eight years have not been especially great for me. My highlights have virtually all revolved around Spouse and Son. In many ways my life has deteriorated. My finances have dropped 80%, as has my health. Worse, some of my dearest loves are no longer here, and others want little or nothing to do with me. We just received our first notice of walking papers from the bank. I haven't read them yet. Spouse did. We'll talk about it tomorrow. I do not say this to garner pity, but rather to lead to a point. Please bear with me, and do pay attention because I have a sneaking suspicion I'm not going to pull this off as I intend.

While it is true recent years have not been especially friendly, still I have believed through it all that it is in accordance with some plan God has for me. Otherwise, why is it that everything I have tried that should have worked, has failed. Miserably. There's a point. Like athletes in training camp, or soldiers dedicating themselves to their country, I am struggling to make it through the Boot Camp of Spiritual Understanding. But sometimes I have felt like God doesn't like me anymore. I'm ashamed to admit that, but I am not some great apostle. I am just me. I call myself Bevie. That's all. And so my prayers changed from, "Dear God, end this please!", to "Please let me know you still care." Like David, I could face the pits of Sheol if I knew God would come with me. It's all I wanted. But how would I know?

People. In particular, the people I have indicated. They are God's way of saying, "I care, Little One. Their loves are my loves, and their concerns are my concerns. As are yours. The peace which passes understanding is found in the love of friends."

"For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them." Matthew 18:20 NKJV

I realize that not everyone who may read my blogs share my faith. I know there are other faiths which use other texts and I have no intention of insulting any of them. Feel free to disagree or, possibly more likely, show how your faith says something similar. If there is anything we should not fight about, it is God. God loves all of us and wants all of us to get along. That's what I think anyway.

So, what does it mean to be "gathered together in his name"? I used to think it meant prayer meetings and such. I don't anymore. I may be wrong, but if God really is Love, then I think to be gathered together in friendship is to bring God into the group. And it doesn't have to be some flaming, passionate love. Simple affection and caring are all that's needed. Would you like me to offer proof? The proof I have seems silly, but I'm giving it anyway.

My brother used to own a little Cocker Spaniel named Brinka. She was brown and curly and just a bundle of fun. But she wasn't big enough to play the rough games my nephews like to play, and so she was often left to herself.

One weekend, Spouse and I joined my brother, uncles and their families for some picnic time at a campground near Duluth. The kids were all off playing at whatever while the adults sat around the campfire and talked about the things which bind a family together.

By chance I saw Brinka tied to a tree in the distance. She had shade (which she would not have had if she had been with the people) and was comfortable. Except, to me, she looked lonely with her head on her paws. And every time anyone stood she raised her head and wagged her tail, only to slump back down when it became clear they were not coming for her. I couldn't bear it. I got up and lay down beside her. Brinka spent the first five or ten minutes licking my face unceasingly. Eventually she quieted and lay down beside me. I ate my lunch and supper with her. When it came time for Spouse and me to drive home I petted her and wished her well.

After that time, whenever Spouse and I visited my brother's house (only once a month or so, and only for a few hours at a time), Brinka would run out on the front doorstep and melt with joy.

You see? It doesn't take much to make a difference. When God tells us to love one another, perhaps all he is asking is for us to be nice to each other.

Perhaps I'm wrong. I don't know. Like I said, I'm not an apostle. Maybe I'm nothing more than a little dog in the shade. I don't care. I just know I'm happy to have friends again. I thank God and I thank them. [grin and smile] And every time they visit I melt with joy.