Sometimes Letting Go is the Best Protection of All

Son is home sick today. And now he's up and active, which means writing has become a series of interruptions. It's no better when Spouse is home. Neither Spouse nor Son views my time in front of the computer as important, much less sacred. Oh, well. Can't say I blame them. Thus far, the only income I've made from it is the promise of some home-baked cookies. It sounds like they're going to be chocolate chip. Toll House. Ummm.

He came down just now and asked if he could bike to the store where Spouse is working. I told him to call Spouse and make sure it was all right. When he finished he came by and began playing keyboards about five feet to my left. Since I'm a bit on edge today I wasn't in the mood, so I suggested he take the keyboard upstairs so he could practice and I could listen to other music without either of us bothering the other. He gave me a knowing smile and proceeded to do as I suggested.

As he passed he remarked that he knew I would be easier about letting him bike on his own than Spouse. When it was suggested he go to the movies unsupervised with a buddy of his, I was the one who actually thought it over (before saying no). Spouse's reaction made one think he had just asked to bungie jump with a piece of string.

Sometimes Son appreciates the fact that I WORK at letting him grow up more than Spouse. Sometimes he appreciates being babied. I know the feelings.

We've returned to a bit of a cold time here in Minnesota. Along the North Dakota border they are dealing with monster floods. Here we've had snow and rain with temperatures in the twenties. The one day Spouse wanted Son to wear his heavy winter coat because it was only going to be in the high twenties. I knew he didn't want to be the only boy walking into school like he'd just come off the Arctic Tundra, so I said his jacket would be sufficient. The next day Spouse wanted him to wear his heavy coat because it was raining, and his jacket would get wet. I said it wasn't like he intended to stand in the rain until he was soaked. Today, he was sick. To Spouse's credit I got no comment. But boy did I get The Look.

Growing up was hard. I never really achieved it. I'm still a child. I try to do better by Son. The world isn't nearly so safe a place as it was when I was his age. Back in the 60s I could bike ten miles or more away from home without my parents even knowing and it didn't matter. These days I get worried when he's out of my sight. But he has to grow up. And part of growing up is being trusted to deal with things and make right decisions.

So Son will pump air into his bicycle tires and bike to the store thinking I'm just fine with it. I will smile and wish him well and give him a last admonition to be careful. He'll tell me he will. Then I'll come back in and feel nervous until he's come again, at which time I will pretend I'm surprised he's back so soon. Later, when this day is history, I will confess the truth to him. That is how it is in this house.