Back in the Sixties someone came up with a bumper sticker which read: Life Sucks. And then you die.
Sometimes I think they weren't half wrong.
Once again I was temporarily without my email account. Sometimes I think technology was invented to drive me nuts. It certainly has speeded things up. A long time ago it would have taken a lot longer for me to get this close to the bottom.
Fortunately, my email is working again and so I am not cut off from sanity and joy. I don't talk with people face-to-face much anymore. Haven't for years. So having online people to talk with is my only real interaction with the world at large.
Listening to Richard Harris singing MacArthur Park. What a beautiful song. Wish I could sing that. Sing it well, I mean.
Anyway, I'm not dead. Not yet. Plenty of time for that. Meanwhile, I'm kind of in limbo. I'm here where I have to be because there is no place I want to be that I can be. Did you follow that? Being a person of inspiration I am waiting. Halfheartedly, I attempt various things, but in truth I am waiting for the sign, the indicator, of what to do next. Until then I am frozen in a prison of my own making, waiting for the Keymaster to present me with instructions on what to do, where to go, and how to achieve. Better people keep moving. But I am not better. I am waiting, and like the obedient child I once was I look for what I do not know.
Perfect song. Aerosmith's, Dream On, just began. Catch you later.
Showing posts with label Computers and Internet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Computers and Internet. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
An Unpleasant Countdown
Less than a week to go now in this house. Legally, I believe we have until some time in September before we have to leave, but the movers will be here next Monday to take our possessions away. Hopefully, they won't keep them for themselves.
When Spouse and I got married we had the ceremony in eastern Wisconsin. At the time we would be living in eastern Minnesota. But Spouse's family was where we had the ceremony. One of my close friends at the time actually drove the 300 miles one way to attend the wedding. He, my mother, and a two sisters rented a van and he did the driving. After the wedding they brought back all of the wedding gifts while Spouse and I went off to spend some time together.
Two years later my friend got married. As I walked the receiving line to shake his hand (and his bride's) he introduced me to her.
DAN: This is my friend, Bevie. We're good friends.
ME: Yes. So good, in fact, that I let him take charge of our wedding gifts. How are they, by the way?
They're really nice. The toaster's broken. It was just cheap garbage.
Wasn't that your gift to us?
Yes. I believe it was.
That's one of the things I liked about Dan. He just flowed with a joke as though he were in on it from the first. But it's been nearly 30 years since I've seen him. Life goes on and often we head in separate directions from those we care about today.
Which brings me back to the point of this post. Less than a week to go in this house. When we move we will have at least interrupted telephone service. I receive my internet service via telephone. Don't know what kind of telephone service we will have. We'll have to have something, but whether that service includes an internet connection is not known at this time. So, what I'm trying to say is that I may be on a countdown to signing off for a very long time. Possibly permanently.
In the meantime Spouse and Son are all excited and moving things early. They're in the process of loading up for their third trip in as many days. Saving the movers work next week. Just as well. They charge by the hour. How can we afford to hire movers? We can't afford not to. We are moving to a third floor apartment/flat. I get wore out just walking the stairs carrying my own weight. No one we know is able and willing to help. The cost of renting a moving truck I could drive is almost as much as hiring someone else to do the work. Besides, we're keeping someone employed. Doing our part, you know.
Myself? I have not returned to the place since we signed the lease. I'm in no hurry. Once I get there I'm not going to want to come down. It just means having to climb back up. (No elevators. This place is not exactly the Ritz.)
Fortunately, we're nearly out of furniture. Unfortunately, the furniture which remains is heavy. I have a beautiful cedar desk which weighs more than I do. We have the pool table, which nobody would buy. That's going to cost an extra $150 to move. And they won't set it up. Just as well. Son as a really nice dresser which is almost as heavy as me, and we have a nice one about half my weight. Other than those things our furniture consists of folding tables and chairs, a glider rocker we purchased when we learned Son was coming, three mattresses, two swivel office chairs, and a round bumper pool table. Everything else has long since been sold.
What we have are several dozen boxes filled with things from VHS movies to old record albums, my writing Archives, books (lots of these), knick knack things (I love these things), plush animals (I love these, too) and music cds. Basically, junk. But it's our junk. And so we keep it. As much because we couldn't sell it at the garage sale as any other reason. Which reminds me: we also have several boxes containing items from our gift business. Boy, didn't we get rich doing that?
So, I'll try to post daily through the week. After all, I may be signing off for good come Sunday or Monday.
When Spouse and I got married we had the ceremony in eastern Wisconsin. At the time we would be living in eastern Minnesota. But Spouse's family was where we had the ceremony. One of my close friends at the time actually drove the 300 miles one way to attend the wedding. He, my mother, and a two sisters rented a van and he did the driving. After the wedding they brought back all of the wedding gifts while Spouse and I went off to spend some time together.
Two years later my friend got married. As I walked the receiving line to shake his hand (and his bride's) he introduced me to her.
DAN: This is my friend, Bevie. We're good friends.
ME: Yes. So good, in fact, that I let him take charge of our wedding gifts. How are they, by the way?
They're really nice. The toaster's broken. It was just cheap garbage.
Wasn't that your gift to us?
Yes. I believe it was.
That's one of the things I liked about Dan. He just flowed with a joke as though he were in on it from the first. But it's been nearly 30 years since I've seen him. Life goes on and often we head in separate directions from those we care about today.
Which brings me back to the point of this post. Less than a week to go in this house. When we move we will have at least interrupted telephone service. I receive my internet service via telephone. Don't know what kind of telephone service we will have. We'll have to have something, but whether that service includes an internet connection is not known at this time. So, what I'm trying to say is that I may be on a countdown to signing off for a very long time. Possibly permanently.
In the meantime Spouse and Son are all excited and moving things early. They're in the process of loading up for their third trip in as many days. Saving the movers work next week. Just as well. They charge by the hour. How can we afford to hire movers? We can't afford not to. We are moving to a third floor apartment/flat. I get wore out just walking the stairs carrying my own weight. No one we know is able and willing to help. The cost of renting a moving truck I could drive is almost as much as hiring someone else to do the work. Besides, we're keeping someone employed. Doing our part, you know.
Myself? I have not returned to the place since we signed the lease. I'm in no hurry. Once I get there I'm not going to want to come down. It just means having to climb back up. (No elevators. This place is not exactly the Ritz.)
Fortunately, we're nearly out of furniture. Unfortunately, the furniture which remains is heavy. I have a beautiful cedar desk which weighs more than I do. We have the pool table, which nobody would buy. That's going to cost an extra $150 to move. And they won't set it up. Just as well. Son as a really nice dresser which is almost as heavy as me, and we have a nice one about half my weight. Other than those things our furniture consists of folding tables and chairs, a glider rocker we purchased when we learned Son was coming, three mattresses, two swivel office chairs, and a round bumper pool table. Everything else has long since been sold.
What we have are several dozen boxes filled with things from VHS movies to old record albums, my writing Archives, books (lots of these), knick knack things (I love these things), plush animals (I love these, too) and music cds. Basically, junk. But it's our junk. And so we keep it. As much because we couldn't sell it at the garage sale as any other reason. Which reminds me: we also have several boxes containing items from our gift business. Boy, didn't we get rich doing that?
So, I'll try to post daily through the week. After all, I may be signing off for good come Sunday or Monday.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Violence Without Consequence
It's been a rough week. For one thing I've been ill. Mostly light-headedness and nausea. That affected my eating habits and I have actually gained weight the past two days. Not falling to the floor anymore, but am still utilizing restroom facilities at increased frequency.
Have had to deal with poor sleeping, too. My beautiful days of getting to sleep before nine and waking again before four are but faint memories in my head. The sun is high in the sky when I get up now, and the household wakes soon after I do. No more blocks of four hours alone time.
We've had enough rain this week I have not bicycled much. And when it hasn't been raining I have needed to remain close to the restroom, so I have avoided going then, too. Not a week for exercise.
Still found plenty of time to laugh, though. Son and I have been watching Star Trek: Next Generation episodes and use the many opportunities to fill in our own sarcastic dialogue. Sometimes we get to laughing so hard we can't talk and our eyes water. It's amazing how many straight lines there are in a single episode. And some characters are much better at delivering them than others. One of our favorite characters to dislike is Wesley Crusher. What a twit. His mother, the doctor, isn't much better. But they provide some the best opportunities for spontaneous dialogue. Other favorites (to make fun of) are Counselor Troi and Captain Picard (even though the captain is one of our favorites).
The Bible tells us "a merry heart doith good like a medicine". Maybe that's why I'm feeling a bit better now than before.
Anyway, the week is slowly winding down. Not everything has gone as I would have liked, but there have been some good moments. Wrote a new story which went over pretty good. Had fun playing mindless games on the computer. There's nothing like mindlessness to calm a troubled mind.
Saw a guy who is important with Best Buy's Geek Squad on a forum the other day. He talked about how the Geeks grew up and invented computer games so the jocks would have someone else to pulverize. Yeah, that's kind of true, isn't. Violence without consequence. How many wizards, genies, haflings, gargoyles, and titans have I sent to their deaths in the past few days? And how many archers, gorgons, skeletons, centaurs, wraiths, and such have I killed? And I've committed no crimes.
It's amazing how much havoc one can create when one is ill. A different way of venting.
Have had to deal with poor sleeping, too. My beautiful days of getting to sleep before nine and waking again before four are but faint memories in my head. The sun is high in the sky when I get up now, and the household wakes soon after I do. No more blocks of four hours alone time.
We've had enough rain this week I have not bicycled much. And when it hasn't been raining I have needed to remain close to the restroom, so I have avoided going then, too. Not a week for exercise.
Still found plenty of time to laugh, though. Son and I have been watching Star Trek: Next Generation episodes and use the many opportunities to fill in our own sarcastic dialogue. Sometimes we get to laughing so hard we can't talk and our eyes water. It's amazing how many straight lines there are in a single episode. And some characters are much better at delivering them than others. One of our favorite characters to dislike is Wesley Crusher. What a twit. His mother, the doctor, isn't much better. But they provide some the best opportunities for spontaneous dialogue. Other favorites (to make fun of) are Counselor Troi and Captain Picard (even though the captain is one of our favorites).
The Bible tells us "a merry heart doith good like a medicine". Maybe that's why I'm feeling a bit better now than before.
Anyway, the week is slowly winding down. Not everything has gone as I would have liked, but there have been some good moments. Wrote a new story which went over pretty good. Had fun playing mindless games on the computer. There's nothing like mindlessness to calm a troubled mind.
Saw a guy who is important with Best Buy's Geek Squad on a forum the other day. He talked about how the Geeks grew up and invented computer games so the jocks would have someone else to pulverize. Yeah, that's kind of true, isn't. Violence without consequence. How many wizards, genies, haflings, gargoyles, and titans have I sent to their deaths in the past few days? And how many archers, gorgons, skeletons, centaurs, wraiths, and such have I killed? And I've committed no crimes.
It's amazing how much havoc one can create when one is ill. A different way of venting.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Strategy vs Dexterity
I've always been a sucker for video games. Way back in the "dark ages", when computer games came via Atari and Odyssey, games were pretty simple and graphics were almost embarrassing. The concepts were simple and mastering most was not difficult.
There were many games I developed an understanding of in which I simply could not lose. Ever. Not unless I wished it. One was a game my brother Mickey purchased. It was a baseball game. Mickey and I loved baseball. I didn't like the game much because the pitchers could throw incredible pitches which defied all known laws of physics. This made scoring for me difficult. But I only needed one run to win. Every time. The reason was that I learned something about the game. After pushing the button to "pitch" the ball, one had but to tap the controller stick to the left. This would put the ball over the outside corner of home plate. A strike. The batter had to swing. Unfortunately, no matter when he (she) swung, if the ball was hit it did exactly the same thing every time. Roll to the first baseman for an out. I could not be scored upon, so I could not lose.
Another game was Atari tennis. It was also a simple game. Just a version of the original pong. I learned a technique which meant I could return every shot. So it just became a matter of outlasting my opponent.
Breakout was fun. Unfortunately, the original version only allowed players to clear the screen twice. I guess it was assumed no one would do that. Well, some of us did. I think the last version I played continues to infinity.
All regular computer games have had the same problem since the first were created: when the computer plays as an opponent, it must cheat in order to win. The reason is that in order to program true intelligent strategy into a game is cost prohibitive. So the programmers take advantage of the fact that the computer has to know everything in order to process the game. Computer opponents tend to get better breaks than humans. It can be frustrating and annoying.
Take Microsoft Hearts, for instance. I did some studies and determined that there is a 60% chance (on my computer anyway) of me either being dealt, or passed the Queen of Spades on every deal. This is not realistic. As many times as I have played Hearts in real life I have never had that kind of luck. Also, computer players tend to 'gang up' on human players. This can be realistic as I have learned when playing any game with my in-laws. The object in their mind is for me to lose. Then they win. They are a collective entity. So in that regard I guess MS-Hearts is realistic.
Programmers hate it when their software is defeated by humans. They take it personally. I wrote before on this blog how Randy wrote an Othello software program for his computer class in college. He eventually got it so it could defeat himself and Stephen more times than not, but it never beat me. The reason? Randy was using me to get the strategy for the game, and what he was never able to do was program a drastic shift in strategy mid-way through a game. When something isn't working, that is the best strategy.
Games now have much better graphics, but they're not a whole lot different than those of the past. Sports games really suck. Always have.
When I wrote my baseball game it was a strategy game, not an exercise in dexterity. There were no graphics. It was all text. Well, one had to push buttons in order to generate plays. But one would simply tell their pitcher what to pitch, and signal runners when to steal, and signal batters whether to bunt, swing away, or go for the walk. It was up to the players to actually do the task. This was based on mathematical probabilities based on this batter's skill against that pitcher's skill against the fielder's skill behind the pitcher and the runner's speed. It wasn't perfect, but it was interesting.
I actually managed to play a season of 102-games for six teams with a best-of-seven championship. My teams were: New York, Boston, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Washington. New York won the regular season and beat Boston 4 games to 1 in the championship. I completed a draft and expansion, adding four teams: Chicago, Cleveland, Detroit and St Louis. But the season didn't make it very long. My saved copy of the game became corrupted and I wasn't able to reload it. The program was lost forever.
Have tried several times to rewrite it, but I get bored and never finish. Writing the software isn't fun anymore. It's playing the game that's fun. No wonder I got dumped.
There were many games I developed an understanding of in which I simply could not lose. Ever. Not unless I wished it. One was a game my brother Mickey purchased. It was a baseball game. Mickey and I loved baseball. I didn't like the game much because the pitchers could throw incredible pitches which defied all known laws of physics. This made scoring for me difficult. But I only needed one run to win. Every time. The reason was that I learned something about the game. After pushing the button to "pitch" the ball, one had but to tap the controller stick to the left. This would put the ball over the outside corner of home plate. A strike. The batter had to swing. Unfortunately, no matter when he (she) swung, if the ball was hit it did exactly the same thing every time. Roll to the first baseman for an out. I could not be scored upon, so I could not lose.
Another game was Atari tennis. It was also a simple game. Just a version of the original pong. I learned a technique which meant I could return every shot. So it just became a matter of outlasting my opponent.
Breakout was fun. Unfortunately, the original version only allowed players to clear the screen twice. I guess it was assumed no one would do that. Well, some of us did. I think the last version I played continues to infinity.
All regular computer games have had the same problem since the first were created: when the computer plays as an opponent, it must cheat in order to win. The reason is that in order to program true intelligent strategy into a game is cost prohibitive. So the programmers take advantage of the fact that the computer has to know everything in order to process the game. Computer opponents tend to get better breaks than humans. It can be frustrating and annoying.
Take Microsoft Hearts, for instance. I did some studies and determined that there is a 60% chance (on my computer anyway) of me either being dealt, or passed the Queen of Spades on every deal. This is not realistic. As many times as I have played Hearts in real life I have never had that kind of luck. Also, computer players tend to 'gang up' on human players. This can be realistic as I have learned when playing any game with my in-laws. The object in their mind is for me to lose. Then they win. They are a collective entity. So in that regard I guess MS-Hearts is realistic.
Programmers hate it when their software is defeated by humans. They take it personally. I wrote before on this blog how Randy wrote an Othello software program for his computer class in college. He eventually got it so it could defeat himself and Stephen more times than not, but it never beat me. The reason? Randy was using me to get the strategy for the game, and what he was never able to do was program a drastic shift in strategy mid-way through a game. When something isn't working, that is the best strategy.
Games now have much better graphics, but they're not a whole lot different than those of the past. Sports games really suck. Always have.
When I wrote my baseball game it was a strategy game, not an exercise in dexterity. There were no graphics. It was all text. Well, one had to push buttons in order to generate plays. But one would simply tell their pitcher what to pitch, and signal runners when to steal, and signal batters whether to bunt, swing away, or go for the walk. It was up to the players to actually do the task. This was based on mathematical probabilities based on this batter's skill against that pitcher's skill against the fielder's skill behind the pitcher and the runner's speed. It wasn't perfect, but it was interesting.
I actually managed to play a season of 102-games for six teams with a best-of-seven championship. My teams were: New York, Boston, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Washington. New York won the regular season and beat Boston 4 games to 1 in the championship. I completed a draft and expansion, adding four teams: Chicago, Cleveland, Detroit and St Louis. But the season didn't make it very long. My saved copy of the game became corrupted and I wasn't able to reload it. The program was lost forever.
Have tried several times to rewrite it, but I get bored and never finish. Writing the software isn't fun anymore. It's playing the game that's fun. No wonder I got dumped.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Medication After All - Pity
Well, the good news is this time the clinic remembered to call me with my test results. (I had already forgotten.) The bad news is that my results were so bad the doctor decided to prescribe medication after all. It's tablet form, so I don't have to do daily blood checks, and I'm not injecting myself with insulin.
My overall blood whatever was a little more than twice what it should be, and my glucose level was about five to six times too high. Pity.
Still, the thinking is that if I lose the 150 pounds and quit with the pop and snacks, these results will go away and I will be (kind of) healthy again.
In line with that, I bought some of the ingredients for recipes which Jennifer, Ms. Sparrow, and Writtenwyrdd gave me. Thanks to all of you for helping.
Spouse and I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and got some of the things we needed, including Turmurac, which I have never before used, and garlic. Also bought some aspharagus. I used to eat wild aspharagus when I was young. Mother would send me out to find it and I would being it home and cook it up. Haven't eaten aspharagus in years. Hope I still like it. Anyway, we're going to give lentil soup a go for lunch.
Also got some apples and strawberries to replace the chips I like to eat. The apples are Braeburn, and they're not exactly in season, so they're not the best. But I like Braeburn apples. I believe they're from Australia. Some of the strawberries are nearly as big as apples. They were in packages 2-for-$5,00. The apples were about a dollar each.
I'm up and about a bit more today, although I'm not pushing myself, Mother Hen. [smiles] I just happen to be feeling a bit better, that's all. My chest doesn't hurt, and even my throat feels better (after about a half dozen giant mugs of Organic Throat Coat tea). My nose is dripping like a leaky faucet, though, and that is making me cough. But I think I should be on the mend by Wednesday. Hope so. Colds and such are quite a nuisance. So is taking medicine.
Thank you all for watching over me. For those who have an interest, I added a link to the Whale Watching post which takes you to a page I created explicitely to track my weight, steps, and general exercise. I think I'll skip eating habits for now.
Thanks, all, for caring.
Oh, and on on unrelated note: If you have noticed my Avatar disappearing from your Following list, it isn't because I quit following. Blogger has been picking on me. Last week I even wondered if perhaps my account hadn't been hijacked or something. Anyway, I'm still following, but the blogs I'm following no longer seem to know it. What's odd is that all of a sudden I'm also following my own blogs. And when I try to click on settings I just get errors. Don't you just love it.
But I haven't left you!
My overall blood whatever was a little more than twice what it should be, and my glucose level was about five to six times too high. Pity.
Still, the thinking is that if I lose the 150 pounds and quit with the pop and snacks, these results will go away and I will be (kind of) healthy again.
In line with that, I bought some of the ingredients for recipes which Jennifer, Ms. Sparrow, and Writtenwyrdd gave me. Thanks to all of you for helping.
Spouse and I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and got some of the things we needed, including Turmurac, which I have never before used, and garlic. Also bought some aspharagus. I used to eat wild aspharagus when I was young. Mother would send me out to find it and I would being it home and cook it up. Haven't eaten aspharagus in years. Hope I still like it. Anyway, we're going to give lentil soup a go for lunch.
Also got some apples and strawberries to replace the chips I like to eat. The apples are Braeburn, and they're not exactly in season, so they're not the best. But I like Braeburn apples. I believe they're from Australia. Some of the strawberries are nearly as big as apples. They were in packages 2-for-$5,00. The apples were about a dollar each.
I'm up and about a bit more today, although I'm not pushing myself, Mother Hen. [smiles] I just happen to be feeling a bit better, that's all. My chest doesn't hurt, and even my throat feels better (after about a half dozen giant mugs of Organic Throat Coat tea). My nose is dripping like a leaky faucet, though, and that is making me cough. But I think I should be on the mend by Wednesday. Hope so. Colds and such are quite a nuisance. So is taking medicine.
Thank you all for watching over me. For those who have an interest, I added a link to the Whale Watching post which takes you to a page I created explicitely to track my weight, steps, and general exercise. I think I'll skip eating habits for now.
Thanks, all, for caring.
Oh, and on on unrelated note: If you have noticed my Avatar disappearing from your Following list, it isn't because I quit following. Blogger has been picking on me. Last week I even wondered if perhaps my account hadn't been hijacked or something. Anyway, I'm still following, but the blogs I'm following no longer seem to know it. What's odd is that all of a sudden I'm also following my own blogs. And when I try to click on settings I just get errors. Don't you just love it.
But I haven't left you!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Good Ol' Blogger
FairyHedgeHog posted this. I looked at my Follower list and I'm still listed as "public". However, if you used to see me as a Follower and now don't, please let me know.
Thanks to Jennifer, through Sarah, for this explanation of why we're all apparently losing followers.
If you use Blogger as your platform, I'm sure you've noticed that your follower count is down. Apparently Blogger has changed everybody's followers to "anonymous" and anonymous followers don't show. If everyone can do these simple steps, we can all get our followers back:Go to dashboard, you'll see "Blogs I'm Following"Scroll down to the bottom of that list and click on manage.Then you'll see that all the drop down menus have been changed to anonymous. You just need to change them back to public.Hopefully we can get the word out, so everyone can take these steps. I hope this doesn't happen again!
Thanks to Jennifer, through Sarah, for this explanation of why we're all apparently losing followers.
If you use Blogger as your platform, I'm sure you've noticed that your follower count is down. Apparently Blogger has changed everybody's followers to "anonymous" and anonymous followers don't show. If everyone can do these simple steps, we can all get our followers back:Go to dashboard, you'll see "Blogs I'm Following"Scroll down to the bottom of that list and click on manage.Then you'll see that all the drop down menus have been changed to anonymous. You just need to change them back to public.Hopefully we can get the word out, so everyone can take these steps. I hope this doesn't happen again!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Infected
My on-line status has been placed in jeopardy. If you're curious as to why, here's my post from The Great Sea.
Hopefully, I will be around a while.
Hopefully, I will be around a while.
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