Thursday, April 16, 2009

An Expression From the Past

Stephen receives a lot of exposure on this blog. He gets honorable mentions on a couple of other blogs, too. Daddy is another. It is entirely right and proper that I should do so, I think. They are both gone and I love them both dearly.

I have referenced my new friends more than once here, too, confessing my love for them.

Today, despite it being Animals and Nature Day on A Voice in the Wind, I will confess my love for Spouse. Included with that is Son, for he came from us, at least in part. His spirit comes from God, but the shell it lives in came from us, as well as a few personality quirks, good and bad.

Spouse isn't too keen on frequent mentions on-line. Not keen about Son being mentioned, either. Anything to hide their identity. But I can hardly post without referencing one and/or the other at least sometimes. And because this blogging thing has turned from a selfish display of words to myself into a selfish interactive with others, things slip, and I find myself compelled to reveal more to friends than I did to an empty and impersonal cyberspace. (Hence the addition of gender on my profile.) Spouse is mostly fine with this. I have friends again. It's been a few years.

Anyway, I have been listening to this particular song several times a day for the past five days. It's one of about a dozen I'm replaying over and over again. All take me back at least two decades in time. Some as far back as 1969. Some make me cry. Some make me feel hopeful. Others remind me of Stephen, being young, foolish, and without any cares. This song, also linked at the bottom of the blog, brings me back to the early 1980s. We (Spouse and I) were still in our twenties. We were both thin then (now it's just Spouse). And healthy. And hopeful. And poor. We both worked at the same place (which is how we met). As I drove us to and from work we would listen to radio stations (I'm a station turner). When this song would come on I would sing it. It's been more than twenty years since I remember hearing it last. Stumbled across it the other day. I can still sing it. Just not as well.

The song is important to me because I have watched what has happened to many other families - just in this neighborhood - in which the husband has lost work and can't get/keep another job to replace the one lost. In nearly every other case the wife has taken the children and left. Spouse did not do that. Not even when we lost the house.

It's no fun being undeserving. But it is comforting to be loved. And so my friends, not to take anything away from the love I bear for you, and you know I love you, this expression of love is for Spouse, though she will not read it. If you wish to listen to it, I have a YouTube link at the bottom of the blog. (Today, anyway. That will change at some point in the future.)

Longer, by Dan Fogelberg

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
I've been in love with you.

Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you.

I'll bring fires in the winters
You'll send showers in the springs
We'll fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings.

Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you.
I'll be in love with you.

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
Ive been in love with you
I am in love with you..

For better and for worse. In sickness and in health. Wasn't sure I believed it at the time. Now, coming up on 30 years later, time has shown the truth.

8 comments:

Lisa said...

How sweet. Does know she's been honored?
My husband doesn't read my blog. He did recently join facebook

Bevie said...

Spouse doesn't read my blogs. Not keen at all about computers and the internet. Very mistrustful of the internet. I'll tell her when she gets home from work, but I strongly doubt she'll read it. She'll listen to the music, though.

fairyhedgehog said...

That's beautiful.

My beloved doesn't read my blog but he's kind enough to take an interest when I talk too much about it and about the people I'm meeting online. He's going to be meeting some of them this Sunday.

We've been married nearly 30 years too.

Bevie said...

That's right! You and the Minions are getting together. Wish I could be there.

Spouse likes it that I have on-line friends. Quite a change from thirty years ago.

We've grown and we've aged, but sometimes I think those two young people are still here.

Ms Sparrow said...

I love it when people talk about their love for their partners. It makes the world a brighter, happier place. Thirty years together and still in love!
That is just wonderful.
Happy Anniversary (and tell her I said so).

Bevie said...

Well, actually the anniversary isn't until November.

If you want to read about someone who's always talking up their spouse you should check out Kiersten Writes. She writes about her lovely family a lot.

writtenwyrdd said...

Neither my mother, brother nor my friends outside the blogosphere read my blog. I can't get them to no matter how hard I try!

But perhaps that's a good thing, to have a realm of expression that is outside of the people in our lives? Not that you would want to shut out your Spouse, but that you come back to her with your creative batteries charged and feeling more appreciative of her.

It's a beautiful thing, to love your spouse so much. I'm happy for you.

Bevie said...

Even when I told her I had made this post she wouldn't read it. So I read part of it to her. She said she wondered why I had been listening to that song so much.

My sister knows I blog, but she doesn't have access to a computer away from work, so she hasn't bothered to ask how to find me.

My in-laws know I talk to people on-line, but I don't believe any of them know I blog. Since I'm not getting any "attack" comments I'm sure of it. They would NOT be happy about my stance on certain issues, or certain comments.