Behold the proud. His soul is not upright in him. But the just shall live by his faith. Habakkuk 2:4 NKJV

Yes. I am afraid you have arrived on a day when I promised to reference what I believe regarding God. If you are not into that sort of thing I understand if you simply move along. But do come back. If you like reading about growing up in small town Minnesota during the 1960s Monday is the day for you. Just look at the schedule posted at the bottom of the page.

"The just shall live by his faith." I think a lot of people believe that is something God added in the New Testament. The Book of Romans, Chapter One, Verse 17 says this same thing. But it is quoting the Old Testament when it does.

My brother once told me he didn't think the Old Testament was relavent anymore. He said few preachers even preach from it. I cannot speak to that. I have only known a few preachers, and they have not all been the same few preachers my brother has known. Some don't. Some do.

All of my life I wondered how one lived by faith. What kind of magic, or supernatural event needed to take place before one could do it? I would read of historical men and women of faith and be amazed. Hudson Taylor. George Mueller. To read about them is to believe they were somehow superhuman. Does it take miracles to live by faith?

Supposedly, Hudson Taylor once wrote that he found it as difficult to believe God would supply $100,000 for a need late in his ministry as he did believing God for $10 early in his ministry. Actually, it would have been pounds, not dollars. I think Hudson Taylor was British. I think George Mueller was, too. Hmm. Maybe that's important?

For so much of my life I felt like the apostles, as told in the Book of Luke.

And the apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith." Luke 17:5 NKJV

I always found Jesus's response a little annoying, as it seemed to tell me I didn't have any faith whatsoever.

So the Lord said, "If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,' and it would obey you." Luke 17:6 NKJV

Wow! I've never been able to do anything like that. Plants don't wither and die. Mountains don't uproot. And I can't walk on water unless there's a boat under me. I struggled with my lack of faith for years, ashamed because I could not do anything like the great men and women of God did. Heck, I couldn't even do the things the so-called insignificant men and women of God did. And then, after a good many more years than it ought to have taken, I began to understand what Jesus was saying.

"Like a mustard seed." Okay, what is the significant characteristic of a mustard seed? Well, put it in the ground, nourish it, and it will start to grow. My son taught me things about faith, too. He used to be quite afraid of thunderstorms. He would become absolutely terrified should the power go out. I remember holding him once while we waited for power to return. He was shaking. I told him things would be all right. I asked him to trust me. He did trust me. But he still had fear. Faith and fear. Fear and faith. They co-existed in the same body.

That is what I have learned in the past few years: that while opposites, faith and fear can - and often do - co-exist. I think of it as a river estuary. It explains the mustard seed - to me. It explains Hudson Taylor's comment. It explains Jesus's answer to his disciples. I have always wanted my faith to increase. So what happens? Well, what happens when someone wants to be physically strong? They either wallow in weakness, desiring strength. Or, they exercise. They the push at the boundaries of their current strength.

It's the same with everything. I can ask God to make me thin. He will do it. How? By encouraging me to change my diet and exercise. I want more faith. God will provide it. How? By placing me in, or allowing me to get in, situations in which faith is required.

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him to knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! Matthew 7:7-11 NKJV

We live in a time where the gratification for our desires is often immediate. Fast food. Fast cars. When we write, we must get to it right now, or the reader will abandon us. That's not the way God works. He isn't in any hurry. He has all the time in the world (and outside the world).

But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 2 Peter 3:8 NKJV

Fear will quench faith. Faith will overcome fear. It does us no good to seek the estuary, but when we find ourselves in bracken we can know it is a chance to "increase our faith". Why doesn't God just give us this faith? I guess the best way I can think of it is like this: there is reward in the journey.

I have made my son do things he was afraid to do. Like me, he is shy and will hesitate to present himself to people in person. So when he was sick for three days he was afraid to go to his teachers and ask for his assignments. I could have gone to them myself and got them. But that was teaching him fear. He was in his own bracken, and I wanted him to have faith - in himself. I insisted he go - himself - and get his assignments. That he grew from the experience was proven to me just recently when he went - on his own - to his band teacher and asked if he could play the keyboards at an upcoming concert. My son just started learning keyboards. Making him face his fear was no fun - for him or for me. But he is stronger and wiser because of it.

I think God does that with us.

Sorry if I sound preachy. I'm just talking about me, you know.