How to Spend a Summer Day

Yesterday's post reminded me of how young and stupid and silly Stephen, Randy, and myself were when we were young. Now that I'm no longer twenty-years-old I am no longer young and stupid and silly. (Replace "young" with "older".)

Before the Falcon had taken up residence in a field as home to a nest of hornets the car had been an important element in our film careers.

When it had still been Stephen's car the back window had shattered. No idea why. Stephen just came out one morning and it was cracked in about a million pieces. So he tapped out all the glass and drove without a rear glass. This became convenient for our filming. As I had indicated yesterday, Stephen didn't like to film from a script. He just wanted to go out and film. And since he and Randy were both fascinated with the city, often we drove into Minneapolis to do our filming.

We took turns filming and driving. Two would sit in the back leaning on the car's roof, their feet resting on the back seat. While driving along Hennepin Avenue once we were hailed by a pimp and his bodyguard driving a small convertible behind us. He wanted to know what we were up to and insisted Stephen film him. So Stephen did. For real. When we had the film developed and I saw he had actually filmed the guy I got annoyed.

Why did you film him?

I was afraid he's shoot me.

Yeah, but why did you film him? Why didn't you just pretend?

He would have got mad.

How would he ever know?

Oh. Yeah.

Another time we were stopped at a corner. There was this couple, around our age. Early twenties. He looked like a guy with no sense of humor. She was gorgeous. I had the camera, and I immediately focused it in on her. She bowed her head and smiled, coyly. Clearly she was enjoying the attention. The guy, however, was not pleased. Fortunately, I had Stephen at my elbow. Stephen engaged the guy in conversation, interrupting him every time he tried to speak to me.

That's mostly what Stephen and I filmed. Pretty girls. But only if they didn't mind. In all the time we filmed we never found a girl who minded. Randy wasn't so lucky.

Randy was not comfortable with women at all. He never married and I don't believe he even dated once. So when Stephen pressured him to film the girls he resisted. But finally, with Stephen driving and Randy taking his turn with the camera, Randy gave in.

Some of our favorite places to film were the city beaches. It was summer. Where else? Well, Stephen drives into the parking lot and is cruising toward the exit when we pass by this car with a woman and two young children. Randy had the camera up and on her as we drove by. She looked up and saw what he was doing. Randy, always polite, offered a greeting.

Hi!

F*ck off!

I nearly fell off the car laughing. Randy was humiliated. He wanted to quit filming, but Stephen said it was like falling off a horse. He needed to give it another go. So we drove by Lake Calhoun.

Lake Calhoun was a favorite for bicyclists. There were always a dozen or more out enjoying the weather. So Stephen took us down the scenic route where the bicyclists were in great numbers. Randy wanted to film the scenery, but Stephen b*tched back that he didn't want Randy wasting all the film.

I can still them in my mind. Four young women in bikinis biking toward us and waving. The first three greeted us with melodic hellos. The fourth gave us probably the most beautiful pose we could get. Stephen went crazy.

[S] Did you see that!

[B] Yes! Wow!

[S] Randy, did you get that?

[R] Yes. I think so.

[S] Great! Let's go get that developed right now.

We rushed to the nearest One Hour Photo lab and submitted our film. Then we paced for an hour while we waited. Retrieving our film we rushed back to Stephen's uncle's house. He was the only one we knew with a projector. We put the film in and saw the pimp, the beatiful girl on the corner, the woman who swore at Randy (that was funny to relive, even if there was no sound). Finally, we saw the scenic view which portended the four cyclists. Knowing what was coming, Stephen completely forgave Randy for his waste of valuable film.

We saw the trees waving. They went back and forth. Back and forth. Trees. More trees. More trees. MORE TREES. MORE TREES!

[S] Randy, where the f*ck are the girls?

[R] What girls?

[S/B] What girls? Are you out of your mind?

[R] I didn't see any girls.

[B] But you said you got them!

[R] I did! Those trees. I thought it was so majestic, the way they waved in the wind.

Stephen now used one of those phrases he generally reserved for me.

[S] You IDIOT!

Poor Randy. He refused to film ever again. I don't think Stephen minded.