You Can't Get There From Here

Some time ago I posted about a blog which had gone quiet. I was concerned, because some of the blogger's posts had been written from a down state. It turned out I was fretting over nothing, for she began posting again within the week. She has since gone silent again. In another week, it will have been a month between posts. But her more recent posts showed a brighter spirit. I won't worry for a while.

Another blog I visit also went quiet for a month. Again, the last posts had frustration and sadness which made me concerned. They have also returned, explaining that a computer virus had shut them down for a few weeks. I know how that goes. I also know what it means to be sad, lonely, down, and even depressed. Maybe that's the draw some blogs have for me. I relate.

I relate in some fashion to all the blogs I visit. Most are actually quite cheery. Some so much so I wonder exactly what the draw is for me. On my best days I'm never that cheery.

My daily rounds of blog visits always consists of my "Core 22". There are also 16 others which I only visit occasionally. Most of these other 16 have infrequent posts anyway. So do some of the Core 22. Many of the Core 22 visit each other. That's kind of how I came to increase my list. After seeing a frequent name in the comments, and somehow identifying with the comments I read, I take a look and see what the commenter likes to blog about.

The 38 people who maintain these blogs are vastly different from each other. Some tend to be more conservative, and some are incredibly wild. Some are stable and happy, while others are distressed and uncertain. Several have blogs I comment to often. Some of them comment to me often. These people I think of as friends, despite the fact I don't even know what they look like. In many cases I don't even know their names, as they are identified by animal names. Nothing wrong with that. That's part of their charm. In fact, it was the fact they chose animals names which drew me to them the strongest. I like that kind of creativity.

Some talk issues. Some talk nostalgia. Some talk writing. Some talk feelings.

Some are young. In their twenties. Others are near my age. A couple are even older. (Those people are getting harder and harder for me to find. [grin])

It's amazing how much I can care about people I only know through the written word. If it is true that I only get 40% of a message through their writing, and people only write about 10% of their life, then I am caring about people while only knowing 4% about them. Somehow, I think that's not true, though. Somehow, I think - at least on some invisible level - I know a lot more about these people than 4%. I hardly know everything, but I know I like them. I trust them, at least, on-line. Would I ever dare meet any in person? Probably. If I had the money to arrange it.

So why my public declarations about blogging?

Today I really did lose someone. I was making my daily blog visits and suddenly I was told I could not visit a blog. I was blocked. The author had hinted they were going through something that required a lot of attention and might just quit blogging entirely. I commented, and they responded by saying I had misunderstood them. I was relieved. I love reading those posts. A beautiful writer. But now I am blocked.

I tried to view the profile, hoping there might be an email link for me to use to ask if I had perhaps been offensive in some comment there, or post here. But Blogger says the profile is now inactive. I have no way to contact them. This time, it was a conscious decision.

Now I am left to wonder if I am the only one blocked, or if they decided to quit after all. God, I hope I did not offend them. Losing a friend is bad enough, but to lose one because I was stupid is horrible! It's hard to know. People are so afraid of disagreeing any more that they often just fade away rather than risk confrontation.

I don't know what my friend is going through. The specifics were never posted, there or here. (They hardly ever posted here.) My only hope now is that whatever the pain, it resolves itself well and one day they return.