Monday, March 16, 2009

Clearly I Chose the Wrong Line of "Work"

Spouse and I have been talking about what we would like to do with out lives, as opposed to what others believe we should do with our lives, now that we have this opportunity to start over.

Siblings and friends, intent on being helpful, keep pointing us at jobs we hate. Their attitude is: Take what you can get. It's better than nothing.

I used to believe that. That's why I've never had a job in my life that was truly fulfilling. Oh, I made good money when I programmed software. But it wasn't me. I hated it. I only cried a few minutes when I was told to "get the h*ll out". By the time I was halfway home I felt free. Then I took another cr*p job and felt like I was some kind of repeat offender, put back in prison. Then health freed me from that job and put me into another office job. Talk about being in prison. It was a relief to have the position killed. I guess I owe this Depression some thanks.

Spouse is the same. Spouse also worked in an office. And hated it.

We never left our jobs on purpose because we had each other to consider, and then Son came along and we had him to consider. So doing what we wanted to do became out of the question.

So what happens?

The economy goes into the toilet and I lose all of the cr*p jobs I didn't really want anyway. Spouse's company leaves town and we don't go with it. Not that interested in living along the east coast. We begin losing things in the house. We have one garage sale. Then another. We did that until we ran out of furniture to sell. Without furniture, people just don't flock to a sale.

More and more we have "lost" things, or been forced to give them up. And do you know what? Off the top of my head, the only thing I can think of that we don't have any more that I wish we did is the gas grill. I love eating meat cooked over an open flame like that. Even hamburger and hot dogs. There was a time I used to get porterhouse steaks. That seems like such a long time ago. We also did a lot of chicken. Chicken cooked on the grill is wonderful. You stab a corner with your fork, cut it off with a steak knife, dip it in hot sauce, and eat. Fantastic. Tastes like shrimp. (Not really. Just couldn't resist the joke.)

Losing so much, little by little, has helped with losing so much at one time now. The simple truth is, we don't really give a d*mn anymore. This has turned into an opportunity for us to do what we want to do. The only problem we really have is that we've ignored what we wanted to do for so long, we're not quite sure what it is we do want to do. We have some ideas. Most seem quite stupid. We're going to look into doing those. Hey, we're old. Old and poor. People expect us to be stupid now. To h*ll with all of that "get any job you can lay your hands on" cr*p. We're going to have fun. If we can.

What's sad, I suppose, (especially if you're a rich Wall Street, Banking, or Insurance executive), is that Spouse and I aren't all that dishonest. If we were, we could have gone into Wall Street, Banking, or Insurance. We could have stole and mishandled billions of dollars. Then, when the entire world collapsed at the same time, we could get paid millions more, which we would pocket for ourselves. Oh, why the h*ll do we have consciences? People with money don't. At least, some times that's the way it seems.

Anyway, some time today our house was sold at sheriff's auction. Spouse walked by me this morning and pointed out the auction would take place in about an hour. I asked if we should go and make a bid. Spouse thought that was funny. That's new. When we were young and hopeful, Spouse laughed at all my jokes (whether they were funny or not). Then it got so nothing I said was funny. (Actually, nothing I ever said was funny. Spouse just quit laughing.) Now that we're starting over again, I'm funny again. Well, Spouse is laughing again.

Another bennie! It's kind of a partial return to youth. I just don't get the body I had, which is a shame. Well, maybe not. Thirty years ago Spouse was quite jealous about my body. No need for that now.

Meanwhile, if the government would only treat us foolish people who have real dreams with the same regard as it does wealthy thieves who only see what they can take. They gave billions away to people who WILL NOT USE IT TO HELP ANYONE BUT THEMSELVES. H*ll, we can do that. And for only a small fraction of the cost. All we need is a little more than quarter million dollars. Then we don't have to worry about anything. The house would be ours.

Why is it that politicians can't think like this: Instead of giving money to businesses in which executives skim off large chunks, give the money to the people of the United States. They will pay off their credit cards, mortgages, and car loans. The banks will be solvent. People will feel good and the economy can roll again. For some reason politicians and economists are convinced giving the money to the people who caused this disaster is going to solve the problem.

Anyway, we get to start over. That is a gift from God. I hope we use it well.

8 comments:

fairyhedgehog said...

You drop in that your house is sold and don't tell us any more.

How long do you have before you move out? Do you know where you're going?

I hope you're OK.

Bevie said...

Well, regarding my being OK, there have always been those who have disputed that. I remember in kindergarten ...

Sorry.

We have until August to either come up with $275,000 - or move out.

We don't know where we're going right now. We've come up with a few ideas.

We have relatives in the southwest, and it has been suggested we move there. Spouse has relatives in western Wisconsin, and that is an option. We are currently investigating Duluth, MN. We've always liked that place and I have relatives there, too. And maybe we can find something local.

If magic were possible, Son wants to move to Denmark, one of our ancestral home countries. I would like to go to the British Isles. I would also like to consider Maine, Vermont, or New Hampshire, but that is a very expensive area to live.

I don't know.

Right now, we're going through every room in the house, picking those things we think we have to keep, and those things we are willing to toss. When we finish that we'll go through the things we think we have to keep and find a mess more things to lose. Then we're going to have a big sale. Whatever doesn't sell we'll see about giving away. Whatever can't be given away is obviously garbage.

If it wasn't so much work it wouldn't be bad. But we've got about thirty years worth of accumulation to go through.

We've already sold most of the furniture. Of the few items which remain, we'll probably only keep a couple things: The rocking chair we bought when Son was born; The crib Son used; His dresser.

Being wiped out this way is far easier than suffering from a hurricane or tornado or fire. Not nearly so traumatic. Really.

fairyhedgehog said...

Bevie, you have to be an angel because I'd be beside myself.

Ms Sparrow said...

I'm so sorry you're having to give up your home. Still, your resilience keeps shining through.
You now can move on to the next stage of your lives and see where it takes you. I have a Jewish saying posted at my desk, "Do you know how to make God laugh?
Tell him your plans."

Bevie said...

Fallen Angel, Fairy.

Seriously, though, I have had my days. I recall four or five years ago going down to the game room and having some very strong one-sided arguments with God. I would try to shoot pool, but wind up hitting the balls using the cue as a bat. I ranted and I raved. And then I would calm down and cry. Then I would hear God.

It isn't about the things I have, or the place I live. It's about the family I have, the friends who care about me, and the God who really does take care of me.

I'm no angel. I'm simply on the other side of one of many deep valleys. (Remember Apprentice? Kiahva lived in a land of deep valleys. I guess I do incorporate my reality in my fantasy after all. Just thought of this now. [smiles]) Had you seen me in the midst of this particular valley you would be less inclined to see me as angelic.

But I do appreciate your words. They feed me strength and provide me with the will to go on. Thanks you.

Bevie said...

Thanks J.

"Do you know how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans."

I love this! It is so true. Life never works out the way we expect.

It never occurred to me I would have friends over the internet. Yet every day I think of them and feel so good about myself as a result.

Life goes on, and it often works out all right.

jaz said...

I am so sorry to hear about the house. Isn't all of the bailout money supposed to be stopping the home foreclosures??

It sounds like you and your wife are really trying to carve out the good in a horrible situation and I so admire that strength and positive thinking (and of course you have had your "moments"--most people would have had many more). I am intensely relieved to hear that you have places to go because I was wondering that, too.

It is my hope and prayer that there will come a time when you can look back on this and see that something wonderful came out of it--and that you and your wife finally get to do what you want to do.

Take care of yourself.

Bevie said...

Thanks, Jennifer.

I've yet to hear from anyone who personally benefited from the bailout. Thus far, the money seems to be stuck "at the top". (I guess they poured it in too fast and now there's a log jam. Not to worry. I'm sure those at the top will disburse it fairly. Right.)

Right now, there is a high probability we will move to Duluth some time this summer. Possibly June. We have enough money to make it to July. I think. That's assuming we can find a place. There is a new trend of landlords not renting to people who have lost their homes.

We will have to find work. That will be easier for Spouse than me. Some of my health issues remove the most obvious choices of work for me.

I'm not worried - too much (Spouse and I have argued more in the past week than we had in the previous two months). But we're not out yet. Miracles happen. Although what kind of miracle would happen to keep us in this place I do not know.

I've considered posting how we arrived at this place. It has to do with faith in a message. Maybe I should.

Thank you for your concern. Are you better?