Came across something else in The Archives I find interesting. It's a copy of a PERSONAL APPRAISAL test I took back in 2000. Basically, it's a test which indicates the kind of work a person should be doing in order to fulfill themselves.
I find these tests interesting because I've taken six or more of them over the years, and the kinds of work which show up in positions two and beyond always change based on what's going on in my life at any given moment. Position one, however, has not changed since I was sixteen years old and took the first of these. According to all of these tests, what I really want to do with my life is: be in entertainment. This particular test lists five areas of entertainment for me:
Rhythmics: dancing, ballet; precision of movement (What? Are they out of their minds?)
Amusment/Entertainment: physical, gymnastics, sports (Not with this body.)
Musical, Creative: compose, arrange, improvise (If only I could.)
Creative Writing: author; imagination, vocabulary (Now we're talking.)
Instructive, Fine Arts: drama, art, music (Yes, yes, yes.)
I really think I missed my calling in life. I should have cast fear aside and set out to establish a career in entertainment when I was young and had no financial (or physical) needs. Now, it's going to be much harder. But it's what I'm going to shoot for. There isn't much I have left to lose by trying. Right? As long as Spouse and Son stay with me I'll be fine. And I need to keep my Archives. Got to keep The Archives.
As I indicated above, the current state of my body makes some of those artistic possibilities impossible. It's a bit late to be learning about music, but I have my bass. And I plan to buy another harp one day (when I can afford it). I never should have sold the one I had. Found my harp music, too! I kept it! Good going, Bevie. I did look into what I have to do to become an "extra" in commercials and films. Did that last year. The big block is that I have to pay dues. Monthly dues. Based on the rate of pay for being an extra I would only have to work on four or five commercials/films in a year to pay the dues, but the likelihood of getting that many jobs in a year is incredibly slim. (They were honest and admitted that flat out up front. Especially since I'm not exactly beautiful anymore. It could be as much as six months between jobs until such time - if ever - that one was "discovered" and used with greater and greater frequency.) In all honesty, if I could afford the monthly dues I'd do it anyway. But we can't afford that kind of dreaming.
Which leaves me with my writing. Which is just fine with me. I like to write stories. (Just go look at the list of books and plays I listed from The Archives on The Great Sea over the past two days. And I've found another list even longer today! At one time I had over 100 books, short stories, and plays on tap to write. Then I put them in The Archives and they were mostly forgotten. Until now. That was the beginning of The Sad Days, which lasted for years, until this year, when things have begun to turn around wonderfully. I have friends again! Did you know that? Of course you do. That's who you are. Sorry. I'm babbling.)
I'm going to try and earn some money selling things I write. In the meantime, I have to find something else some company (and my body) will allow me to do for money. Duluth has several small theatre companies. I'm going to contact some of those and see if they are hiring for anything. Anything. To be near a theatre - and be paid for it - would be wonderful. In time, I might even find myself auditioning for a play or two. Who knows? Might even see one I wrote show up on stage. Probably not Broadway, but maybe Duluth? (Actually, Minneapolis is a bit of a hotbed for theatre, too. We have The Guthrie, and Chanhassen Dinner Theatre - I can cook, and The Orpheum. A long drive to get to work, but it would be worth it. Up to now I've been afraid to even try. But now that I've nothing to lose, what the h*ll? Right? I can only hear them laugh while I'm there.)
Who knows? Crazy thoughts? Perhaps. But remember: I'm old and poor now. It's all right for me to be a little crazy. Right?
2 comments:
Bevie, there is such joy flowing out of you and it is great to see. I've been here since right after the query business over at EE and I know there have been some low times. But I think you are really embracing your dreams here, and they make you so happy. I just know that something great is on the horizon for you! Make those calls--maybe even volunteer at the theater--it might turn into something. A friend of mine who had been out of the work force for years (young kids) volunteered at Legal Aid and within a few months they offered her a paid position. You never know what something will lead to.
"I just know that something great is on the horizon for you!"
I'm thinking so, too. This August makes seven years since our personal financial collapse. It also marks the month we have to be out of this house. It's also my birthday month. Whatever is going to happen, it's going to happen this summer.
I believe that.
My happiness is due to the Archives. They are reminding me of how it was before. Some of that can come back.
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