It's Time to Be Laughing

Supposed to vent today, and maybe I will later, if I have time. But I'm still finding "diamonds in the rough" scattered through my Archives. Here are a few more of the humor items. There are a couple of other things I would like to post about, but I'm due for a busy morning and I may run out of time. We'll see. Meanwhile -

I copied a cartoon from some place. No indication of where. The picture itself won't scan nicely, so I'll describe it. And grumpy executive (glasses and big frown) sits behind a large desk. Before him is a wimpy man holding a sheet of paper. This is the caption:

Our biggest problem around here is lack of information. Of course, I have nothing to base that on.

Back in 1994 a co-worker and I had a contest to see how long we could keep coming up with new movie titles for the famed "Pet Rock". Here a just a few of our submissions (we had over 100). I'm sure you can come up with a host of your own.

These were some of my originals:

One Flew Over the Pet Rock
A Fistful of Pet Rocks
The Six Million Dollar Pet Rock
Darby O'Gill and the Pet Rock
All the President's Pet Rocks
James Bond: Never Say Pet Rock Again

And these were Howard's:

I Was a Teenage Pet Rock
Journey to the Center of Pet Rock
An Officer and a Pet Rock
Pet Rock Does Dallas (must be over 18)
Godzilla vs. Pet Rock
Interview With a Pet Rock

And finally, here is a short list of poorly written church announcements from a church in Waterville, KS. Supposedly, all of these were actually in a church bulletin.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north end of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 5:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All the ladies giving milk, please come early.

The service will close with 'Little Drops of Water.' One of the men will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expense of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet will please come forward and get a piece of paper.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind, and they can be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Brown to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

And, my favorite.

Thursday at 5:00 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mother's Club. All wishing to become little mothers will please meet with the minister in the study.