We put about fifty or sixty miles on the car today getting a Christmas Tree. We can't afford it, but what the hell? If the bottom's falling out anyway, then at least we'll have a nice tree. Anyway, the weekend following Thanksgiving is our traditional time to put up a tree.
We got a white pine. I like white pine because the needles are soft. Growing up, we always had norway pine. Those were free. We would visit relatives near Grand Rapids and hike out into the woods to find the perfect tree. Cousin Alfred would bring along a saw and my dad would let my sisters and me choose the tree we wanted. Since the trees were wild the one we chose had to stand at least ten feet taller than my dad, who was 6' 2". Alfred would then cut the tree off high, leaving a still living tree to continue growing in the forest.
Both Alfred and my dad are gone. Gone for some time now. So we didn't venture into the north woods of Minnesota to get our tree. Instead, we went to Jan's Treefarm, north of Big Lake. We stopped and got the map and instructions, and the warning that "if you cut it, you bought it, so be sure it's the one you want before sawing". The white pines were on the absolute far side. I guess they're not popular. Most people seemed to be taking spruce and fir.
I parked the car and got out to find a most beautiful tree only ten feet or so away. But my son was concerned it was too tall. So we walked another twenty or thirty feet and found an equally magnificent tree, but a couple of feet shorter. We cut it down and he dragged it to the shaking station. I said we could put it on top of the car, but I think it made him feel "outdoorsy" to drag it. The young man who pulled it through the wrapper was nice enough to tie it onto the car.
Fifty dollars, plus tax. I know there are many who would criticize me for buying a fifty dollar tree when the money just isn't there, but - I don't give a damn. We're in our seventh year of crap, and I'm tired of it. The bottom is coming up fast, and there doesn't appear to be anyway to stop it this time. We've run out of options. Pity. But we're going to enjoy this Christmas. The presents will be cheap, but we'll have some. Maybe like last year.
I don't particularly like admitting it, but last year we got most of our Christmas presents from the food shelf. Someone we will never meet volunteered to sponser us for Christmas - without telling us. The presents just showed up. I didn't want to cry, but I did. It touches me now to remember. We thanked Jesus. We couldn't thank the Givers, so we just asked God to bless them. There was a time when I gave to Santa Anonymous, and Toys for Tots, and the Salvation Army. Like the food shelf. Once a blessing to others, now a burden. It wasn't how I felt when I used to give, but I can't help feeling that way now that I'm on the other end.
Our tree is up now. There is a cheap bed sheet on the floor with a tree skirt on top beneath it. My son crawled on the floor to plug in the cords and I wrapped the tree with electric lights. He has finished hanging ornaments and now the tree stands in a corner all lit up. There is something beautiful about a Christmas Tree. It seems to cry out that there is still good in the world. I like looking at it. I like pretty lights and a quiet snowfall.
I have a brother-in-law who doesn't much care for Christmas Trees. He allows his children to have one, but he says when they grow up and leave home he will stop putting them up. Maybe. I don't think he's thinking ahead to grandchildren. Anyway, he bases his opinon on the book of Jeremiah. (Hear the word which the LORD speaks to you, O house of Israel. Thus says the Lord: "Learn not the way of the nations, nor be dismayed at the signs of the heavens because the nations are dismayed at them, for the customs of the peoples are false. A tree from the forest is cut down, and worked with an axe by the hands of a craftsman. Men deck it with silver and gold; they fasten it with hammer and nails so that it cannot move. Their idols are like scarecrows in a cucumber field, and they cannot speak; they have to be carried, for they cannot walk. Be not afraid of them, for they cannot do evil, neither is it in them to do good." Jeremiah 10:1-5 RSV)
He may be right in his thinking, but I doubt it. For one thing, I do not put up a tree to honor God. I put it up because it is pretty, and it makes me feel good to look at it. When things are going bad, I really want to feel good. This tree I am looking at now reminds me that I was once as young as my son. It reminds me of the house which leaked air like a tea kettle. We were poor, but we always had Christmas. I want my son to remember that he also had Christmas.
The holiday is to celebrate the birth of Jesus. I don't think he minds that we enjoy it for ourselves, too. As long as he's invited.
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