Do I Have the Personality For This? Do I Have Personality?

I visited a blog site of one of Evil Editor's minion followers - AC's to be specific. It is called A Novel Idea, and here is its address: http://acvollers.blogspot.com/
I do hope she doesn't mind I've mentioned her and provided a link. However, since no one visits my blogs anyway, I suppose it doesn't matter. (I can't ask because I promised I wouldn't comment on the minions' blogs without permission. I suppose that was silly, but having said it I feel I should be bound by it. So, my posting comments requires the unlikely scenario of a minion visiting my blog and posting a comment.)

Anyway, AC's blog is interesting. I like it. Recently, she posted a link to personality evaluations based on blog addresses. According to it, she is an ESFP - A Performer. I love these kind of evaluations - especially when they are free - so I entered this blog's address. I was informed I am an ISFP - An Artist.

ISFP - The Artists
The gentle and compassionate type. They are especially attuned to their inner values and what other people need. They are not friends of many words and tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders. They tend to follow the path of least resistance and have to look out not to be taken advantage of. They often prefer working quietly, behind the scene as a part of a team. They tend to value their friends and family above what they do for a living.

It's cute, because it did get some things correct: gentle, worries of the world, taken advantage of, value friends and family over occupation. But it got some things wrong: few words, not part of a team. I may be wrong about the team thing, because I do like to work quiety, but for several years at a certain company - which shall here remain nameless - I was known as THE team player. And if you have ever read anthing I have written you will understand I am quite the friend of many words.

Since I run three blogs, I was curious what my results would be for the other two. So I gave each of them a go.

For the Great Sea I am an ISTP - A Mechanic.

ISTP - The Mechanics
The independent and problem-solving type. They are especially attuned to the demands of the moment and are masters of responding to challenges that arise spontaneously. They generally prefer to think things out for themselves and often avoid inter-personal conflicts. The Mechanics enjoy working together with other independent and highly skilled people and often like to seek fun and action, both in their work and personal life. They enjoy adventure and risk such as in driving race cars or working as policemen and firefighters.

Again, I both agree and disagree with the evaluation. What is interesting, is that now I am told I ENJOY working as part of a team. Well, I am independent. I like problem-solving (when it isn't too difficult for me.) I've always liked fun. (Hell, who doesn't?) But I've never even been close to a race car, much less driven one. And I don't think I would especially care to be a police officer or firefighter.

For SOF People I am an INTP - A Thinker.

INTP - The Thinkers
The logical and analytical type. They are especialy attuned to difficult creative and intellectual challenges and always look for something more complex to dig into. They are great at finding subtle connections between things and imagine far-reaching implications. They enjoy working with complex things using a lot of concepts and imaginative models of reality. Since they are not very good at seeing and understanding the needs of other people, they might come across as arrogant, impatient and insensitive to people that need some time to understand what they are talking about.

I like to believe I am logical and analytical (but then, isn't that everyone's self opinion?). However, I am not ALWAYS looking for something complex to dig into. Hell, I have The Great Sea. That is quite complex, thank you very much. Subtle connections? Far-reaching implications? Yeah. I suppose. Imagination models of reality? If they're talking about The Great Sea, then sure. (There is also another one, but the way, but to date I have only explored that reality in my thoughts. I can't recall having written much, if anything, down.) Not good at seeing the needs of other people? I don't think that's true. The needs of other people often break my heart. Arrogant? Impatient? Insensitive? I have been accused of all of those things, as well as commended for my caring. And people frequently tell me they don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

AC also had a link to a Meyers-Briggs Jung Typology Test. I took that, too. I am an INFP - A Healer. This one is really cool. That's what I love about taking these tests. They can really feed my ego.

Healers present a calm and serene face to the world, and can seem shy, even distant around others. But inside they're anything but serene, having a capacity for personal caring rarely found in the other types. Healers care deeply about the inner life of a few special persons, or about a favorite cause in the world at large. And their great passion is to heal the conflicts that trouble individuals, or that divide groups, and thus to bring wholeness, or health, to themselves, their loved ones, and their community.

Healers have a profound sense of idealism that comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong. They conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place, full of wondrous possibilities and potential goods. In fact, to understand Healers, we must understand that their deep commitment to the positive and the good is almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. Set off from the rest of humanity by their privacy and scarcity (around one percent of the population), Healers can feel even more isolated in the purity of their idealism.

Also, Healers might well feel a sense of separation because of their often misunderstood childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood-they are the prince or princess of fairy tales-an attitude which, sadly, is frowned upon, or even punished, by many parents. With parents who want them to get their head out of the clouds, Healers begin to believe they are bad to be so fanciful, so dreamy, and can come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. In truth, they are quite OK just as they are, only different from most others-swans reared in a family of ducks.

At work, Healers are adaptable, welcome new ideas and new information, are patient with complicated situations, but impatient with routine details. Healers are keenly aware of people and their feelings, and relate well with most others. Because of their deep-seated reserve, however, they can work quite happily alone. When making decisions, Healers follow their heart not their head, which means they can make errors of fact, but seldom of feeling. They have a natural interest in scholarly activities and demonstrate, like the other Idealists, a remarkable facility with language. They have a gift for interpreting stories, as well as for creating them, and thus often write in lyric, poetic fashion. Frequently they hear a call to go forth into the world and help others, a call they seem ready to answer, even if they must sacrifice their own comfort.

There is a lot here about Healers, so I will refrain from addressing everything. But, as I indicated above, this is good for the ego.

Serene face? I remember at a past job walking by two co-workers arguing about the correlation between feelings and intelligence. As I walked past one took notice of me and decided I was the perfect example of whatever point he was trying to make. In effect, what he said was, "Look at Bevie! Bevie has no feelings whatsoever, and yet Bevie is very intelligent." I wasn't sure what to make of that. Compliment? Or putdown? As I was too shy to stop and find out I never learned. What's cool about this first paragraph is the part where it says, "having a capacity for personal caring rarely found in the other types". Doesn't that make me feel like a cat curled up on a lap while receiving soft strokes from a loving hand? Meow.

The second paragraph speaks of idealism and how Healers feel isolated because of it. Yeah, I suppose I am idealistic. And I do feel isolated, but I don't think that's because of my idealism. It's because nobody every comes to visit me, and the only two people who ever call to speak with me are my mother, about once a month, and a sister, about twice a year. The cool part of this paragraph is the comment, "Set off from the rest of humanity by their privacy and scarcity (around one percent of the population)". That makes me unique! (Thank goodness, you are saying.)

I have to confess the third paragraph is quite accurate in describing my childhood as fantasy-filled. But then, aren't most children's lives fantasy-filled? My family was poor, but not so poor that my nutrition was neglected, thus inhibiting the creative processes. I was taught that being dreamy and fanciful, while not necessarilly bad, was wrong. My point here is that while, as a writer, I really like it that I am described as "fantasy-filled", I think that can be said for a lot of people. But I am hardly unique in my creation of worlds. I just may be a bit more prolific in it.

The final paragraph is pretty much a sum-up. Healers like people but can work alone. (That's usefull if one is going to be a writer.) And here's the biggie: Healers "Frequently hear a call to go forth ... and help others ... even if they must sacrifice their own comfort". How noble. I like that. If only I were. While I can think of times I have sacrificed comfort, safety and/or money, I don't know if that qualifies me as noble. I can think of several people, viewed "undesirable", who have done the same. Come to think of it, I believe I am viewed as undesirable, too. Whatever. The really cool part of this last paragraph is as follows: They have a gift for interpreting stories, as well as for creating them, and thus often write in lyric, poetic fashion. As a writer, it is always nice to be described as "having a gift for interpreting/creating stories". I think the part about "writing in lyric, poetic fashion" means I use too many words, and that the words I use tend to be ridiculous.

So what do all of these on-line evaluations of who I am mean, and what am I to take from them?

Well, I don't think they really mean anything. Of the four, the last probably has the greatest value. At least that one is based on my answering questions of behavior. However, I learned back in my teens that these tests more tend to be reflections of how we see ourselves than perhaps how we really are. I took dozens upon dozens of them when I was a teenager and in my twenties. Since I've grown older, I tend to forget about them. I remember one I was forced to take by the owner of a company I worked at.

Everyone had to take it. I had been sick, or on vacation, when the rest of the company took it, so I had to take it alone. (They just stoppped work for a day to do it. It took nearly six hours.) The owner had gone over the test results with the company as a group. There were only forty or so employees, so this wasn't too much of a problem. But the owner, who was about ten years older than I, had just discovered these kinds of tests and was just into them. I came back and took the test. Then I waited two or three days while my results were computed and integrated into the company's results as a whole. Then I met with the owner one-on-one to discuss it.

I don't recall the exact results of my profile. I do remember they were consistent with all the other personality profile tests I had ever taken. This test also divided results into four quadrants, but then it divided each quadrant into four quadrants, and possible another level after that. I'm not sure about the third level, but there were at least sixteen possible squares to be assigned.

First, the owner (how's about I just call her "Shay"? - not her real name) showed me the chart for the entire company. There was one dot for each employee, but the dots were not identified on this chart. Shay knew who each dot represented, but she was keeping that information to herself. However, while she did not give names to the dots, she did point out that there was a logical grouping to them. For instance, wasn't it interesting that the group of dots in this area were nearly all sales people, and that only two sales people were not in this group? (Mental note: I hope those two sales people can find work soon after Shay concludes they shouldn't be sales people and gets rid of them. - This is exactly what happened.) The customer service people tended to be in this area, except for this one. (Mental note: I hope whoever that is likes sales. - There was a move of a customer service rep to sales rep less than a month later.) All of the administration personel were togther (they get to keep their jobs), and most of the programming staff, too. (I hope the ones we're about to lose aren't among our best.)

Finally, Shay pointed out to me that all of the dots were located in 90% of the chart - except for two. Way off, in a corner of a corner, were two dots in semi-isolation. One was so close to the edge of the chart it almost looked like an accidental mark. "This one," Shay said to me, pointing at the dot closest to the others, "is mine." I'm not sure I need tell you who's mark was completely separated from the others, but I will: yes, it was mine. I had suspected it as soon as I realized it was a dot and not an accident. When Shay confirmed my suspicion I felt a cold fear grab my heart. EVERYONE in my department was on the exact opposite side of the effing chart. (Mental note: It's time to polish up the resume.)

But I had forgotten one VERY important piece of information: Shay's dot was also far away from the department she loved most (sales), although not as far as mine BUT, my dot was the closest TO Shay's. Suddenly, we were kindred.

It turned out Shay had not only been feeling bad about being separated from her beloved sales department, but also because she was completely alone out there on the edge of the chart. So now I come along, and I not only join her in the distant emptiness of lonely existence, but I'm even futher out - at the very edge of existence, as it were. Shay confessed to me how happy she was when she saw my results. (Mental note: 1: Don't ever inform Shay that these personality profiles are a bunch of hooey meant to stroke egos and provide sociologists - or whoever comes up with these things - a steady income. 2: Don't ever tell Shay you don't believe she is much like you at all - or vice versa.)

Shay had liked me before (I think), but after this test she really liked me. I had always liked her. I also felt sorry for her, because so few in the company saw her as anything but mean and irrational. She was neither of these things. She owned a business. A small business. That was a difficult task in itself, but Shay had made her life even more difficult by choosing a business in an industry dominated by men: manufacturing. It had been a struggle, but she had fought through incredibly lean times, twice, or three times, having to restructure her business in order for it to survive. At one time she had been reduced to herself and a single employee working out of a garage. No paychecks for a long time. Now she had made it. And in so doing, she had incurred the hatred of many - men and women. This is common for many women who succeed. A man succeeds in business and he is praised for it, no matter his methods. A woman succeeds and she is criticized. I know why this is so. What I don't know is, why the why? It doesn't make sense. Ultimately, Shay would sell her company and become a millionare.

I miss Shay. Partly because, I miss Shay. But mostly (let's be honest here) because, less then two years after Shay's departure, my position was eliminated and my financial life has deteriorated like chicken left out on the counter too long.

Boy, have I gotten off on a tangent!

Sorry about that.

So, to repeat the unanswered final question - What am I to take from these personality profiles?

Nothing. Except, perhaps, the security that, even after a great many years, I can still take these tests and get results that can make me feel good about myself.

I like being a cat. Purr.