Stephen was the eldest of three sons. In many ways he was the favored son, but not all. At times, each of the boys was their mother's favorite. They all meant a lot to her - and their father. But I think Stephen was always his father's favorite. So it seemed to me. Probably because he was the eldest. But also, I suspect, because Stephen's father recognized in Stephen a sensitivity the other two boys lacked, at least to the degree Stephen had it.
Sean, the youngest, was significantly younger and so never a part of any of our excursions. His teenage years and early adulthood came during the time of Stephen's and my separation, which lasted about fifteen years. So I don't remember much about Sean except, like his brothers, he was spoiled. In a good way, though. I spoke with him at Stephen's funeral. I was holding Son and we were talking and both trying not to cry. Sean said Stephen was always my friend. I managed to choke out the words, "He is my best friend." As Sean and I cried, Son speaks up, "You're squishing me!" So I let him go.
Glen, the middle son, was the popular one. Everything always came up shining for Glen. He was his mother's favorite most of the time. He was the singer and the actor. Unafraid, Glen would try anything. The girls flocked to him. The boys flocked to him. Teachers flocked to him. The only thing Glen did not do was athletics, which Stephen did. And while Stephen's immense artistic talent was devoted to painting and sculpting, Glen used his in the performing arts. It was Glen who got me to put my fears behind me and actually try out for a play. It was "The Hobbit". I got a part. Two parts, actually: the Great Goblin and the voice of Smaug, the dragon. Glen was Gollum, and he hammed it up beautifully. Glen knew how to work an audience. He always played to the audience. Got him into trouble when we did "Diary of Anne Frank". He was given a smaller part and tried to ham it up. The director came backstage between the second and third acts and threatened to pull him and put in his stand-in right then and there.
Glen's lack of fear would ultimately cost him his life. I do not know if it was unprotected sex, or drug use which caused it, but Glen got AIDS. This also happened during the dark years when Stephen and I were out of touch with each other. Glen's death hit Stephen as hard as it did their mother. Probably because Glen was their mother's favorite, and Stephen was very much bound to his mother. Stephen never really recovered from this, and on more than one occassion accused me for not being at the funeral. But I hadn't known. I don't read obituaries. Oddly, a lot of people do. But Stephen had desperately wanted/needed me there. And I didn't show up. I think that may have influenced his decision to find me. Which he did.
But Glen was amazing. Self-centered as he was, he still managed to make one like him. I did. He would annoy me to no end, especially when he got away with things Stephen couldn't. I'd be angry on Stephen's behalf. Stephen seldom was. He was very proud of Glen. And jealous, I imagine, because of the extra attention Glen received from their mother. Yet Stephen never tried to emulate Glen. If anything, it was the other way around.
Still recall when Glen was at Northtown Shopping Mall. He shop-lifted a pair of dress shoes. Stuffed them in a brown paper bag and then walked the mall with his loot. Came back to the store which he had robbed and applied for work. Got interviewed and hired, all while carrying his stolen loot. Glen shoplifted all the time. He was one of those people who never got caught. Until he got AIDS. Not being careful finally caught up with him.
Stephen, on the other hand, only shoplifted once in his life. It was a cheap piece of fishing tackle he didn't even want. And he got caught.
He had gone shopping with Chris. The two were going to go fishing together. Stephen secretly admired Chris. Chris was kind of like Glen, only he treated people better. Except not Stephen. Chris took great pleasure in picking on Stephen. Sometimes I would have to run interference on Stephen's behalf.
Well, it was Chris who talked Stephen into taking the thing. They argued about it until Stephen finally agreed. Unfortunately, their arguing and general behavior had attracted the attention of store security. They didn't get five steps outside before they were apprehended.
Stephen came to my place later that day. He had been arrested. Taken to the police station. Fingerprinted. It did something to him to be labeled a criminal. It hurt.
As with everything in Stephen's life, he would quickly begin to amplify the event. Suddenly, there were S.W.A.T. teams and gun battles and news reports across the nation. "Stephen steals fishing lure. Details at ten."
It's amazing how, after a person is gone, one finds themself missing a person's annoying traits. I could use some of Stephen's ability to enlarge things right now. It would help me laugh, I think. He would, in any case. He always knew how to make me laugh. Laughter is a powerful weapon against sadness and despair.
No comments:
Post a Comment