Sometimes We Don't Know Ourselves At All

Judayl, my sister, was over to help with the garage sale last week. She missed Hectic Wednesday, when several hundred people showed up and we made nearly as much in one day as all of the previous week. But she was in time for Slow Friday, when 25% of our sales was to ourselves. (We had made hot dogs on the grill again, but with no one showing up we had to eat them or let them go to the garbage. I hate throwing food away.)

While she was here one of our conversations turned to cats. Judayl has a cat. Used to have two, but one suffered a stroke. It came up again that people who don't like cats usually tend to be people who aren't that nice in general. That has been my experience. However, before you get yourself all up in arms and critical of this "rule", let me point out something else: there are a lot of people who THINK they don't like cats, but really do.

One case in point is my brother, Mickey. Mickey always said he didn't like cats. But then, he was really never around them. Oh, we had cats as kids, but Mickey didn't pay them any mind. If he wasn't playing sports he was cleaning the house. He never had time for cats. Our cats were all permenently outside. No lap cats in our house. To interact with a cat at our place one had to seek them out. Mickey never did. He said he didn't like them. So what happens?

Years after leaving home and starting his own family, Mickey's wife wants a cat. She likes them. Mickey is confronted with an awful choice. One we all make often. Accept something you don't like because you love someone, or offend the person you love most in the world. Mickey accepted the cat into his house.

When we visited his house afterward, it was not unusual to see Mickey petting the cat. And later, when a large tom showed up at his place, Mickey let it stay. The tom eventually became Mickey's favorite, and when he grew old and had a stroke it was Mickey who cried like a little boy for having to see his friend put down. People who hate cats don't act like that. They continue to hate cats no matter what. Further, they don't seem to show that much compassion toward people either.

It's like law enforcement tells us: people who torture animals eventually torture people. There is something wrong with them.

People who hate cats - and I mean really hate them, and don't just think they do because they've never interacted with them - generally hate other animals, too. And people.

I've known dog lovers who claim to hate cats. But these people seldom have cats, so how do they know? It's like I told my son as we were coming home from the dentist the other day. I used to think I hated mushrooms. I had never eaten a mushroom. But I knew the people who liked them and the foods they tended to like. They liked radishes, onions, turnups, cabbage and the like. These were all foods I knew I didn't like, so I saw no reason to even attempt eating a mushroom. Then Stephen convinced me to try some with my spaghetti. (It's hard to say no to those we love.) What I learned was that mushrooms are great. Now I eat them all the time.

After Baby Boy died I did not want another cat. When Spouse brought Firestar home I was angry and didn't talk at all. I tried to ignore the new kitten. Why? Because I knew what would happen the minute I started to pay attention to him. I would fall in love again, which meant that one day I might suffer tremendous pain again because this kitten would grow old and die before me. That is such an awful thing to bear.

Perhaps you are one of those people who says they hate cats. I expect you believe it, or you wouldn't say it. Yet you say you are a decent person. No better and no worse than most people. It it is true that you are a decent person, then my guess is that you just don't know. Which is fine. Just don't be cruel to cats.

If, however, you say you have no trouble torturing cats (and I mean not just imagining it, but doing it), then I would say you aren't so decent as you think. Cats, dogs, birds, horses, cows, pigs - the ability to love any creature means you have the ability to love them all. Love is not selective. It's all-encompassing. But it's hard to love what we don't know.

Often the grumpy and mean people we see in life are actually hiding behind a facade. It's a defense mechanism from being hurt. If they make themselves unloveable, they will not get close enough to another person and be hurt when that person goes/is taken away from them. It's kind of a last defense against emotional pain. Sometimes, they are exactly what they portray themselves to be. But often I think they are just hurting people. A cat could do them wonders. But it does hurt when they die.